(written to “number 3″ by ben harper)
0:13
the first one,
he couldn’t hold me
we had too big eyes.
the second one,
he couldn’t trust me
his love was in his smile.
and number 3,
well she,
was the one
the one who
who helped me
find you.
it was she,
me loving me.
it was she,
me loving me.
you speak to me,
but i don’t listen.
i mean,
i go through the motions -
i hear you, and
i understand, and
my chest swells with tears
and they promise something new,
but my feet -
they never take me there
my heart has yet to move me there.
we
are unwilling
to do the work.
too attached
to too weak substitutes
strong enough
to distract me.
and i am like an addict.
i poke at my skin
fill up
with what is passing,
and never raise an eye
up.
i know you see me,
but i won’t look.
i am running.
no.
i am boldly avoiding you.
truth.
(artwork by laurie cooper)
after school today, a ninth grader i had never met came to me to talk. at the moment he introduced himself to me i had not anticipated that he would begin narrating the last 5 years of his life. but he ended up telling me about his first girlfriend – a relationship that ended when she died two years ago while he was in the 7th grade.
