excerpts from a piece i call “eulogy”…

14 Oct

…i was in another world.  living a double-life and watching myself on fuzzy tv screens, protecting myself from really being so that i would never feel it ending. i flipped through channels trying to catch a scene or two.  lucky if i found one, inconsistent.  you were like my other world.  entertaining me with glorious portraits that deserted logic and actuality.   when actually your actions rarely reached your words, inconsistent.  still actually, you successfully convinced me that most of what you versed could be true.  and even as i searched for the truth, i never (or always) discovered you.  i saw you, but love (or infatuation) prevented me from seeing you.  and so i existed in another world – mythical visions offered a stage for an ephemeral performance and further complicated the bipolarity of the choices i made.  confused? ah, but it is so simple…

i was in another world. and you were never here.

write us a eulogy. one that could place peace underneath my feet as i walk home. could you be sincere? you’re so good with words. make them feel like kisses on shoulders and arms wrapped around waists and the tastes of soft skin. i want to hear you whispering things you never said. posthumous confessions that may never have been real. write us a eulogy. one that could unite memory and eternity – yesterday and tomorrow. a bridge i could cross to get high off nostalgia, as i walk out of the space of impossible to dig into possibilities. please, could you leave me a eulogy?

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