on vulnerability…
[open and given to love (and harm) – vulnerability is trusting in the calm/of deep skips in your heartbeats/and wary waves/of jaded seas/that crash the coasts of cheeks,/always wet with your tears…/ vulnerability/is like hope/in a war against fear.]
you work so hard protecting
everything you keep from me.
i even think you cry deliberately.
like you call the loss
and the chaos that controls your thoughts.
I think you like to sleep worlds apart
from deep-sleep, sweet dreams
that are really only meant to keep –
for this is your security.
and yes.
this is a risk.
but regardless –
with words or without them,
you cannot avoid crashing, and
one of these will inevitably happen:
you will descend slowly or jump quickly.
tomorrow or today,
you’re falling anyway…
yet meanwhile,
in your typical, strategically cryptic style,
blank diaries are dyed
with words you hide from eyes
you still pretend not to see.
your trite words will sow the wrong seeds
as you master secrecy.
writing is currently your therapy,
but soon it will be your enemy.
as it widens the space
you place between us,
this distance
will become like eternity
and you will have lost me.
words are chances –
you write them,
yet you keep them from me.
can’t you see?
your vulnerability
could make you
delicately
connected to me.
(artwork by rabi khan)
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